In the Kitchen with Dad and Bill - Okonomyaki

Bill: "Wait, we're still doing this thing?"

Dad: "Of course. Just been busy is all."

Bill: "Doing what?"

Dad: "Building you an heirloom table that you will pass on to your children and they to theirs."

Bill: "That thing in the garage that you bodged together from framing lumber?"

Dad: "Yes that thing. Anyway, yes we're still writing these things and today we're going to make you lunch."

Bill: "Didn't we already do one of those posts?"

Dad: "It's a series. It will catch on probably."

Bill: "Yeah, like Pogs. So what are we making?"

Dad: "Today we are making Okonomiyaki."

Bill: "That doesn't sound like a thing I want to eat."

Dad: "The word Okonomi roughly translates to 'what you like' and yaki means 'cooked'. So it can be whatever you want. You can't not like it!"

Bill: "Okay I want pineapple."

Dad: "It's not that."

Bill: "Yeah but that's what I like."

Dad: "Yeah well today you like grated zucchini and carrot."

Bill: "No I don't."

Dad: "You do because I said you do. THE POWER OF PARENTING!! Okay let me get my mis en place together here. I need one egg, a couple of tablespoons of flour, a teaspoonish bit of baking powder, one zucchini, and a bit of carrot."

Bill: "Nice try, dad, but Alan De Herrera you are not."

Dad: "Who?"

Bill: "Famous food photographer."

Dad: "Yeah well can he build a table?"

Bill: "Probably."

Dad: "Yeah... probably... Anyway! Take that stuff and mash it all up in a bowl."

Bill: "That's not very specific, or appetizing."

Dad: "Well I don't have a recipe per se. I really just kind of throw it together so it looks right. Traditional Okonomiyaki is made with shredded cabbage instead of zucchini and carrot as well as japanese yam but this is what I like. Or, as they say in japanese, okonomi."

Bill: "Can't I just have a bowl of fruit? Maybe some cheese? I'm hungry!"

Dad: "This will only take a minute. It's quick and easy!"

Bill: "You've been doing this for like 20 minutes. You took like 15 different pictures of the ingredients and will probably not even use one of them!"

Dad: "I'll use a couple. Be patient."

Bill: "I AM BEING PATIENT!"

Dad: "I can tell. Ok next we put a little vegetable oil in the pan and swish it around. Then pour in the mixture, spreading it around so it's no more than like half an inch thick."

Bill: "I'm so hungry! I think I'm starting to get like... hunger-blindness. Dad, is that you?"

Dad: "If I say no, will you go away?"

Bill: "No."

Dad: "Let the goo cook up until you can see some browning around the outside. It shouldn't take more than a minute or two but it depends on what loveliness you've added in. Then carefully give it a flip and brown up the other side. I made this one rather big because I didn't feel like putting half a zucchini back in the fridge but you can make yours smaller or even just make two of them."

Bill rolls around on the floor dramatically. He tries to grab Flopsie the cat who is coming to console him. She quickly realizes her mistake and jumps over the baby gate. Then Bill goes back to rolling.

Dad: "And that's all there is to it! You can pop it out of the pan and eat it as is, add salt or pepper, whatever!"

Bill: "I'm still not eating it."

Dad: "I haven't added the super secret ingredient yet."

Bill: "Cookies?"

Dad: "Okonomi sauce and kewpie mayo."

Bill: "Great. Mayo on a vegetable pancake. I'll just have some cookies."

Dad: "Not regular mayo. Kewpie mayo. It has a sweet and sour taste not too unlike the dreaded Miracle Whip but, unlike that corn syrup and oil monstrosity of chemical alchemy, this one is real mayo. And the Okonomi sauce is a wonderfully sweet brown sauce that is reminiscent of a mix of bbq sauce and worcestershire but without the bite. The combo is AMAZING." 

Bill: "Well, I'll try it. But if it's no good you have to give me cookies for lunch."

Dad: "You're not getting cookies for lunch."

Bill: "You'll give me cookies or... I'll tell mom that you gave me cookies for lunch!"

Dad: "Just eat it."

Bill: "Those japanese are damned geniuses..."

Dad: "I know, right! If you weren't a baby I'd have added the super SUPER secret ingredient which is to slap a couple of slices of bacon on the top before you flip it. It browns up and the bacon flavor permeates the whole thing."

Bill: "What's bacon?"

Dad: "One thing at a time, Bill. One thing at a time..."

Cool Cars with Dad and Bill - 1972 VW Karmann Ghia

Six months ago:

Bill: "This sucks. I'm tired of sitting in this stroller in front of cars. I want to drive!

Dad: "You're too little, silly! Besides, you aren't even wearing shoes."

Bill: "Sounds like bad parenting."

Dad: "Yeah well if you'd stop being a lazy baby and walk like you're supposed to then I'd put shoes on you. And then we can talk about driving"

Bill: "Is that some kind of challenge?"

Dad: "Oh it's a double dog challenge, buddy!"

Bill: "Pretty sure you mean double dog dare, but I accept."

Flash forward to present day:



Dad: "Bill, what are you doing?"

Bill: "I'm going to drive the Ghia!"

Dad: "Bill, you can't drive the Ghia."

Bill: "Chris said I could."

Dad: "She did not."

Bill: "Uh huh, Kevin was right there listening. He knows. Ask him."

Dad: "You can't even reach the pedals."

Bill: "I've got a stick for the gas and a big rock for the brake. I'm good."

Dad: "Get out of the car, Bill. And bring the stick and rock."

Bill: "Foxy Fox is my copilot."

Dad: "Bill..."

Bill: "I've spent like 1/3 of my life preparing for this, Dad! I'm walking everywhere wearing shoes, mashing my cars into one another so I know what not to do. I'm ready for this."

Dad: "Ok, I'll tell you what. If you can say "Karmann Ghia", with your words and not your hands, you can drive."

Bill: "That's not fair."

Dad: "Feel free to tell your mom on me."

Bill: "Challenge accepted...."