Bill: "Avenue? Ants vs Ears? Apples vs Everyone?"
Dad: "No, just AvE. Apparently it stands for Arduino vs Evil but I don't know what that means. All I know is I went in expecting just a squirt and I got the whole bachelor party"
Bill: "I don't think that's an appropriate way to talk on a professional website."
Dad: "Better get used to it. It's a direct quote from the man himself."
Bill: "So that's his deal then? Just spouting 'edgy' things and generally being an American buffoon?"
Dad: "Nope. Canadian. Just north of us in British Columbia. And he is far more than a source of wonderfully imaginative exclamations. He takes everyday machines and opens them up to explain to you what is really going on."
Bill: "Mansplaining?"
Dad: "No he actually knows what he's talking about! I'm pretty sure he has some type of electrical or mechanical engineering background because he'll take apart a tool or machine and go through all the little widgets and spinnamathings and tell you what they are, what they do, and generally where the companies are ripping you off. He doesn't do paid reviews or any of that so it's honest opinions with no bull."
Bill: "That sounds pretty useful. So just a tool review site then basically?"
Dad: "Well he has lots of helpful tips and little bits of knowledge. Some of his videos are long 30 minute jobbies and some are short 2 minute clips of him sticking a paperclip in an outlet to show that only one side of the outlet is dangerous."
Bill: "Hmm... got a paperclip?"
Dad: "Don't try this at home. Dad's hand is more dangerous than electricity."
Bill: "Point taken."
Dad: "Anyway like I said he makes taking apart a tool seem incredibly entertaining. That said, the video quality is not over the top, the overlays and screen text is functional at best, and he does have some awkward abrupt cuts. But he says really entertaining things. He actually reminds me a whole lot of your Grampa in Canada."
Bill: "How so?"
Dad: "He thinks most people/companies are crooks and makes up words and nicknames for everything. Most of which are not PC."
Bill: "Examples?"
Dad: "Well here's a quick AvE vocabulary lesson:"
Schmoo: Goo or mank
Magic Pixies: Electricity
Son of a diddly: You can imagine this one
Grand du Marteau: Big ass hammer
Jelly Bean Parts: Any cheap little generic piece of a machine. Usually easily broken
Guangzhou Charlie: The person you get the jelly bean parts from
Skookum: Big, strong, valuable, works well. It basically means it's a good thing
Chooch: Any action a machine can have. If something spins, fires, flames, whatever, it chooches
Skookum Choocher: Something that is good at what it does. If a nail gun can shoot through a 6 inch board it's probably a skookum choocher
Chooched its last chooch: It's broken
Thumb Detecting Nut Fucker: A crescent wrench. Usually this one:
Bill: "Is there going to be a quiz?"
Dad: "Nope but we have some vid-jay-ohs to watch."
Bill: "Great. Seriously though... next time can we do Thomas or something? I don't know what your obsession is with Canadian tool guys."
Dad: "Maybe. I do have a bit of a backlog."
Bill: "Perhaps I should just start writing my own blog."
Dad: "Perhaps you should finally start talking!"
Bill: "I didn't want a blog that much anyway."
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