Cool Cars with Dad and Bill - 1973 Plymouth Valiant Scamp

*Please note that this picture is old but the conversation is fresh!




Bill: "I think they took this one off the assembly line early. Forgot the paint. What is this, a 1975 Halfass?"

Dad: "No it's a 1973 Plymouth Valiant Scamp."

Bill: "That's a lot of names for a halfass car."

Dad: "Well it's a Plymouth Valiant but Scamp is the variant."

Bill: "Like a weasel?"

Dad: "Not varmint. Variant. It's when they add doodads to a car and give it a nickname to set it apart from the base model. Lots of things and people have nicknames. Even me!"

Bill: "I heard that guy you almost hit in the crosswalk the other day call you something. Was that your nickname?"

Dad: "No. No it wasn't. I've actually had several nicknames. When I was little some people called me Bink."

Bill: "Well it's not cool but it's better than what that one guy called you. Anything else?"

Dad: "In sixth grade they called me Elvis."

Bill: "Because of your singing voice and way with the ladies?"

Dad: "No I just didn't like to get my hair cut."

Bill: "Man I hope I'm not lame when I get older. Is that it?"

Dad: "When the internet came along I went by Fozzie."

Bill: "Makes sense. I've seen your back when your shirt is off."

Dad: "No, it's.. well okay sure but it's mostly because I'm hilarious."

Bill: "Especially when your shirt is off."

Dad: "Whatever, Bill!"

Bill: "Does Mom have a nickname?"

Dad: "I call her Goomba."

Bill: "Why?"

Dad: "Well when we were first together she did something silly and I just blurted out the first thing that came to mind. I'd been watching a lot of The Sopranos at the time. It sounded appropriate."

Bill: "What's a Goomba?"

Dad: "Well it's supposedly a term of endearment in the mafia type circles but it sounds like an insult to me. It's also the name of the mushroom head guys in Mario."

Bill: "So you call my mom a mushroom headed mafioso?"

Dad: "Well when you put it that way it sounds rude. Way to ruin it, Bill!"

Bill: "I'm surprised she doesn't call you what that guy in the crosswalk did..."

Dad: "Yeah well she has but I'm sure she meant it in the nicest way."

Bill: "Pretty sure that word can't be used in a nice way, but keep hoping."