Cool Cars with Dad and the Dowager Countess - 1929 Model A

Dad: "Hey Bill, check out this 1929 Model A roadster. Pretty sweet huh?"

Bill assumes a haughty British falsetto.

Bill: "Goodness! What has Branson gone and done this time? Does Lord Grantham know of this?"

Dad: "Um. What?"

Bill: "Oh it is you. I thought it was a man in your clothes."

Dad: "Bill. We've talked about this before. You are not the chicken lady."

Bill: "When you talk like that, I'm tempted to ring for Nanny and have you put to bed with no supper."

Dad: "Listen, Bill. We're just here to talk about this car. Don't you want to go for a drive or something? Something manly and awesome?"

Bill: "What is this driving mania? You aren't Toad of Toad Hall. At my age one must ration one's excitement."

Dad: "This whole thing doesn't even make sense. This isn't a British car and it's not in the Downton timeline!"

Bill: "If I ever were to search for logic, I wouldn't look for it among the English upper class."

Dad: "How you hate to be wrong."

Bill: "I wouldn't know. I'm not familiar with the sensation."

Dad: "We have a lot of walking left to do still you know. Can we finish this up?"

Bill: "That's the thing about nature; there's so much of it."

Dad: "I'm just trying to pass the time here. It's not easy filling a whole day hanging out with a baby you know."

Bill: "You must find something to put your mind to."

Dad: "What? Gardening?"

Bill: "No you can't be as desperate as that. You're a woman with a brain and reasonable ability. Stop whining and find something to do."

Dad: "... I'm not a woman."

Bill: "Hmm, yes but you're better than nothing. I suppose looks aren't everything."

Dad: "Bill! Stop quoting the Dowager Countess and use your own words."

Bill: "Oh all this endless thinking; it's very overrated. I blame the war; before 1914 nobody thought of anything at all."

Dad: "I hope you're happy. Everybody has stopped reading by now and gone off to Buzzfeed."

Bill: "Hope is a tease designed to prevent us accepting reality."

Dad: "You only say that to sound clever."

Bill: "I know. You should try it."

Dad: "Why are you like this?"

Bill: "Some say our history, but I blame the weather."

Dad: "Aaaaargh!!"

Bill: "Don't be defeatist, dear. It's very middle class."

Dad: "Fine. We'll just go home and eat. But if you don't stop you won't get any dessert"

Bill: "Seems a pity to miss such a good pudding."

Dad: "I'll take that as a compliment."

Bill: "I must have said it wrong."

Dad: "We're supposed to see grandma on the webcam later too. You don't want to miss that do you?"

Bill: "I'm so looking forward to seeing your mother. When I'm with her I'm reminded of the virtues of the English."

Dad: "You know she's American, Bill."

Bill: "Exactly."

Dad: "That's pretty rude."

Bill: "You know, I wonder your halo doesn't grow heavy. It must be like wearing a tiara around the clock."

Dad: "I'm done."

Bill whispers to Foxy Fox: "I don't dislike him, I just don't like him. Which is quite different. Why does every day involve a fight with an American."

Bill: "Well we can't have him assassinated... I suppose."

Dad pushes the stroller away back toward the house sighing.